Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a short-term, attachment-based treatment developed by Drs Sue Johnson and Les Greenburg in the 1980s. Although EFT can be utilized with individuals and families, much of the research and success has been linked to work with couples. The EFT framework tells us that couples experience relational stress and disappointment due to unmet attachment needs; that is, partners are not experiencing a safe and secure attachment with each other.
When an attachment to a partner is threatened, our brains react dramatically. The amygdala, also known as the “fear center” of the brain, sends out an alarm. This alarm sends the central nervous system into “fight or flight” or “survival” mode. We are on high alert and intensely focused on the threat to our safety. We react in ways rooted in primal survival: lashing out or withdrawal, self-destructive behaviors, etc. The key to EFT is to slow down and safely process the interaction between partners in order to create more thoughtful, safe, secure connection instead of desperate, reactive, fearful self-protection.
A secure attachment bond creates a safe place for a couple to discuss and experience their vulnerabilities and insecurities without a fear of rejection. Research has shown that when a couple has a healthy attachment bond their health improves (i.e. they live longer, are less stressed, and have fewer chronic health conditions). EFT can help couples create long-lasting patterns of connection and attachment.